4 Ways to Ruin a Firefighter's Day
Written by Billy Galvin
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Published in HUMOR
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When it comes to your job, there are certain situations that can instantly ruin your day.
It's no different in the fire service. Here are just four ways to ruin a firefighter's day.
1) Down wires
This is possibly the worst call a firefighter can get. It will drive you to a level of boredom that causes hallucinations and irrational behavior. Down wires are like being stranded out at sea on a shitty life raft with three of your buddies. It seems fine at first, but as time goes on you realize that you may have to eat one another for survival.
It makes me crack up watching guys’ faces when their cell phone dies on these runs. It’s probably the same look a person gets when they run out of water in the dessert.
2) The fire that won't go out
Spraying water on a defensive posture fire for days — yes, I said days — is the absolute worst. I truly believe these calls are what separates the men from the boys.
It's easy to enjoy this job on the fun fires when everyone is happy and everything goes great. But on the ones where you lost the building ....well it flat out sucks. It’s like getting your ass kicked in a bowl game that never ends. Now you know how Michigan State felt.
3) When the cool boss calls out, and the shitty boss comes in
“Hey, where’s Sgt. [fill in blank with cool boss]?”“He called off. Sgt. [fill in blank with dickhead boss] is coming in.”“Oh come on, man!!!”
That's a punch to the anus. You thought everything would be awesome, but bam — you just got taken by the curve ball high, son. Enjoy the next 24-hours with your demon-seed boss.
It's a terrible feeling when this occurs, but it usually gets better throughout the shift once you mentally prep yourself to deal with an asshole. I feel, in life, you always should take the time to stop and prepare yourself when dealing with an asshole. It’s a recipe for success.
4) A power outage at the station
What I have realized over the years is that when people can't have any of the modern conveniences that we have today they quickly revert back to caveman tendencies. I'm not kidding. Take an engine house, kill the power and come back at shift change. It will look like a scene from I Am Legend — You know, that movie where a virus turns humans into bald zombies with ripped abs. Yeah, it will look like that, minus the abs.
We lost power several times and dare I say things got weird. First off, guys that you never would expect start pulling out candles. There’s something about a big burly man having a scented candle at the ready just in case someone farts or the lights go out. “Hey, who brought in the vanilla passion candle?” All you’ll get is silence.
Then people will start telling stories. That's right, stories. It turns into a girl scout camp out in a hurry. All we’re missing is a box of cookies. Soon after, the guys all start trying to scare each other...which turns into grunting at one another...which turns into beating objects with wooden clubs. And now we have full regression back to cave man status.
And there ya have it, just a few things to ruin your day. Until next time, be safe out there and have a great day.
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