It's a pain to get around New York City. You know this. I know this.
The cross-town subway. The uptown cab. The bus, just generally.
All the worst.
And exactly why I've been riding my bike across the five boroughs for
the past four years (that, and the fact that it almost never smells like
someone puked inside of a shoe).
As if you needed them, here are 23 reasons riding a bike is one
bazillion times better than literally any other mode of NYC transport.
1. You can park pretty much anywhere
Got a U-lock? Got a stationary object? Congratulations, you've got a
place to park your bicycle. (Just don't leave it there for too long.)
2. It kinda-sorta counts as exercise
Which is pretty clutch, given how expensive gyms are in this town. Extra
points if you're going over a bridge; double that if it's the
Williamsburg Bridge.
3. The sentence "It's all the way crosstown" strikes no fear in a cyclist's heart
"Oh, you just sat down at
Empire Diner? Order me a beer, I'll be there in 10 minutes."
4. It's perfectly acceptable to ride a bicycle as an adult
Ludicrously expensive Park Slope man-scooters are for ludicrously
wealthy Park Slopeans and wanna-be iconoclasts who shop at
Hammacher-Schlemmer. Bikes are for the everyman, man.
5. There are some goddamned beautiful bike paths in this city
From the
Hudson River Greenway, to the Brooklyn waterfront, to the
Ocean Parkway bike path, there are plenty of breathtaking cruises you can only take by bike.
6. Walking is dumb
Biking is way better. (You may object that this is totally based on
opinion, but I'm going to include it here anyway, because this is my
article, not yours.)
7. You're basically immune to intersection slush puddles
You'll never step off the curb and sink shin-deep into an ice-cold
quagmire of wintertime failure, because you'll be rolling in style on
the street. Go ahead: laugh at the walkers.
8. Traffic delays cease to matter
There's no such thing as bumper-to-bumper when you're on pedal power.
Slip effortlessly by the gridlock in a bike lane, or get saucy and slash
through the middle of it (just be careful if you do).
9. Speaking of which...
NYC's got
250 miles of traffic lanes specifically designated for bikes. That's a lot of room. Sure, those miles aren't always in the
greatest shape, but... neither are the automotive lanes? This is still NYC, remember?
10. Rollerblading is even dumber
(#JustFacts)
11. It's good for the environment
If you care about such things -- which, you know, you probably
should -- you can sleep easy knowing your bike commute is keeping up to
1,750lbs of C02 out of the air.
DAVE INFANTE
12. Your bike will get you onto the Governors Island ferry before everyone else
All aboard, indeed.
13. Hang it on your apartment wall for form-meets-function decor
Not only will it save space in your
"cozy" junior-four with vaulted ceilings, but a
simple wall mount will turn your bike into a
Seinfeld-ian ornament when it's not in use. (Pro tip: use a
stud finder.)
14. It's cheap-ish
Thanks to its remarkable flatness, you can get away with a singlespeed
in this city. A basic, gear-less steed will run you around $500 at your
local bike shop, where they'll build it, theft-proof its bolts, and be
waiting with open doors when it needs an (infrequent) tune. It's a small
investment for near-infinite urban freedom.
15. To reiterate: "goddamned beautiful bike paths"
10 out of 10 scientists agree that riding your iron horse from
72nd St Boat Basin to
The Cloisters on a sunny, summer day completely cancels out the emotional agony of February in NYC. And they're
scientists, you guys.
16. CitiBike has pushed cycling mainstream
I hate to admit it, but those ubiquitous, blue behemoths have finally
given cycling the nudge it needed to earn a reasonable slice of the NYC
transportation spotlight. This city still has a long way to go before we
reach Portland-levels of bike-friendliness, but with more people (from
more socioeconomic backgrounds) being introduced to bicycling's benefits
every day, we're building momentum.
17. The self-reliance will make you feel like a badass
There's no substitute for the bizarre sense of pride you'll feel when
you realize that you can get from Point A to Point B without swiping a
MetroCard or credit card.
18. Segways are the dumbest
This is not up for debate.
19. Red Hook is best when accessed by bike
And as
previously demonstrated, Red Hook is the
promised land.
20. Besides — how else are you going to get to the city's best pupusas?
Short answer: you're not, unless you ride a bike.
21. Random strangers can't cough on you when you're on your bike
Your move, L train.
22. It'll give you newfound respect for your delivery guy
You'll probably
tip him a little extra next time you order pad Thai at 11:30pm, but hey -- that's just more karma for you!
23. You'll become part of a community
A rolling, righteous, resilient guild of pedaling bipedals who dominate
rush hour, help the environment, and make hilarious videos.
Conclusion
Look, I'm convinced that biking NYC is the best, but that's not to say
it's all fun & games. These roads can be dangerous, and, all too
often, deadly. If you're gonna get out there -- and I hope you do -- get
a helmet, buy a bike that you can handle, and follow the traffic laws.
If you're smart, cautious, and properly equipped, you'll be able to
minimize your risk while participating in one of the most exhilarating
free activities this city has to offer. Godspeed.
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Dave Infante
is a senior writer for Thrillist Food & Drink, and has been riding
the same trusty singlespeed for the past four years. Follow him on
Twitter @dinfontay.
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