[NSFW] Photos: Smallest Penis In Brooklyn Contest Celebrates Micro Dongs
Over 100 tiny penis lovers packed into King's County Bar in Bushwick yesterday afternoon for the third annual Smallest Penis In Brooklyn pageant, a celebration of all things micro and proud.
There were considerably more women than men in the crowd for the three hour event, with many small groups of women batched together (photographer Melanie Rieders described it as "a bachelorette girls day vibe"). MC Chicken Bitches welcomed people by reminding them that this event was a celebration of all sizes (but mostly teeny tiny sizes): "If you came here to make fun, you better get the fuck out," she said, adding that the bar hosts the event to "celebrate what you've got," even if what you've got could generously be described as "flyspeck."
En route to judge the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn pageant and engage in some hardcore misandry 💅🍆🔬
— Natalie Shure (@nataliesurely) June 13, 2015
I'm judging The Smallest Penis in BK Pageant. There's a line around the block to get in and shits about to get REAL pic.twitter.com/sdPPAmjRiH
— Krystyna Hutchinson (@KrystynaHutch) June 13, 2015
Thankfully, the crowd was there to appreciate, not mock, the contestants (that included the band Afterbirth Monkey, a music-comedy duo who performed a song about tiny dicks, and also flashed the crowd for good measure). This year there were five brave men who stepped up to the plate: an older gentleman named "Rip Van Dinkle" (who perviously competed in the event two years ago), "Chino Loco," "The Gentleman," "Cromwell," and the winner, "Puzzlemaster." This year's event was space/Star Wars-themed, so Puzzlemaster was awarded a victory lightsaber (DJ Syntax got into the theme of the day by dancing robotically).
2015 BROOKLYN'S SMALLEST PENIS PAGEANT WINNER pic.twitter.com/7xrIFU5hmT
— 3GI (@the3GI) June 13, 2015
Puzzlemaster competed in last year's competition (though he lost), memorably reenacting Buffalo Bill's "Would You Fuck Me? I'd Fuck Me" scene from Silence of the Lambs before dropping trou and treating the crowd to a view of his tucked-away junk. This year, he was given $500 in cash for his victory—when asked what he was going to do with the money, he told us that he has a baby on the way, so it'll go towards costs for the little guy.
Click through to check out lots of NSFW photos of the work.
