New York's Bravest Is Trans FDNY Firefighter Brooke Guinan

By Irene Chidinma Nwoye Tue., Feb. 24 2015 at 2:47 PM

1 Comment

Categories: FDNY, LGBTQ, Longform

Photo by Celeste Sloman for the Village Voice

"I couldn't get the voices out of my head of people telling me I'll never be a woman."

"The world doesn't have language to actively allow me to identify myself."

Leaning over the kitchen countertop in her two-bedroom apartment in Queens, Brooke Guinan tries to explain, via four horizontal lines she has plotted on a piece of paper, how the notion of gender is far more complex than the two extremes of "male" and "female." The lines represent four continuums: biological sex, gender identity, gender expression, and sexual orientation.

"I don't have a sexuality!" Guinan exclaims. "How does the world define a woman who was born male who likes men? What is the sexuality for that? You could say I was gay, but I don't identify as male. Trans is my gender identity. 'Transgender' is about my gender; it has nothing to do with my sexuality.

"Our society doesn't have language to define that!"

Guinan (pronounced GUY-ninn) tends to get worked up on the topic of gender. "I hope I don't sound angry," she says. "It's just something I'm passionate about."

Not surprising, given that she is New York City's first and only transgender firefighter. The FDNY employs more than 10,400, only 44 of whom are women, and Guinan is the only member who has served the department as both a man and a woman. Since September, when a poster of her wearing a tight T-shirt reading "So Trans So What" went viral as part of an awareness campaign for the LGBTQ-advocacy group V.O.I.C.E. (the Vocal Organization for International Courage and Equality), Guinan has seen her profile rise as a role model for others who battle gender stereotypes in male-dominated professions.

Guinan does have something in common with many in the FDNY: The department runs in her family. In fact, she's third-generation. Her father, George William Guinan V, is an FDNY lieutenant; her grandfather George IV retired as a captain. Growing up, she heard stories about the escapades of her forebears — both of whom are heterosexual and, as she puts it, masculine and athletic. "There's such an attitude in society that firefighting is for straight, masculine men," Guinan says.

She, of course, is none of those things. That said, unlike many women who aspire to join the FDNY, she had no trouble meeting the job's physical requirements. Standing six feet tall, Guinan weighs 240 pounds and doesn't lack for strength. "I'm broad. My body has a lot of natural strength to it," she says. "I've never had a problem with strength. When my mother needs furniture moved, she calls me."

When it comes to stamina, though, Guinan says a lot of women in the department would best her. "You don't have to be six feet tall and built like a linebacker to do this job," she says, arms folded across her chest. "You have to compensate. You have to know what you have and know what you have to work for."

On this particular evening, she's wearing a black sweater, black top, and tight blue jeans. A silver necklace with a dolphin pendant hangs around her neck, a gift from her boyfriend. Guinan doesn't remember a time when she didn't feel mostly different from everyone around her. Now she talks about not wanting to "let down" other transgender men and women who see her as an inspiration for bucking convention and stereotype to enter a profession where she is looked upon as an outsider.

Although she has grown accustomed to feeling separate from the norm, she admits it took years of burning under society's intolerant glare for her to emerge stronger, certain of who she is and her place in the world.

"I couldn't get the voices out of my head of people telling me I'll never be a woman, I don't look like a woman, I don't sound like a woman, and it's never going to happen," Guinan says.

"I had to get to a point where it didn't matter if the world didn't accept me as a woman, because I identify as one. I don't care who believes it. This is me. This is my truth. This is my identity."