POLITICS
New Poll Finds 74% Of Americans Would Be Comfortable Blaming Female President For Problems
WASHINGTON—Indicating a major shift in public opinion from just a generation ago, a poll conducted by Gallup this week found that 74 percent of Americans would be comfortable blaming a female president for the problems facing the nation.
Who Is Bernie Sanders?
Independent Vermont senator and self-proclaimed “democratic socialist” Bernie Sanders officially declared his candidacy in the 2016 election Thursday.
Nation Just Hoping Next President Can Prevent Country’s Decline From Being Totally Humiliating
WASHINGTON—As momentum builds toward the 2016 election, citizens across the nation told reporters this week they simply hope the next president of the United States can prevent the country’s decline from being an utterly humiliating experience...
Authorities Believe Man Radicalized While Serving 18 Years In Congress
WASHINGTON—Saying that being confined in such a volatile environment was known to have devastating psychological repercussions, FBI officials reported Wednesday that Ohio man Patrick Kinsey had apparently become radicalized during his 18 years spent...
Iowa Restaurant Patron Can Remember Every Breakfast Ruined By Presidential Candidates
MARSHALLTOWN, IA—Describing them as significant moments in her life that she would never forget, 67-year-old Iowa diner patron Jane Brandon told reporters Monday she can still remember every single breakfast she’s had ruined by a presidential ...
Man Pleased To Find Most Of His Mid-’90s Anti-Hillary Rant Still Usable
DECATUR, IL—Expressing relief that he would not have to construct an entirely new diatribe from scratch, local man Harold Willis was reportedly pleased Monday to discover that most of his anti-Hillary Clinton rant from the mid-1990s was still perfec...
Architect Presents Obama With Generic Options For War Memorial That Could Work For Syria, Libya, Yemen
WASHINGTON—Emphasizing that the commander-in-chief might want to get a head start on such a project soon, architect Owen Levin presented President Obama with generic options for a national memorial Tuesday that could feasibly honor an American war i...
U.S. Encouraging Cuba To Shift Toward Democratic System Of Corruption
WASHINGTON—As part of the White House’s effort to mend 50 years of acrimonious U.S.-Cuba relations, members of the Obama administration called on the island nation this week to adopt a more democratic form of corruption.
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