Joe Montana says he'd have thought about doctoring footballs like Tom Brady

By CHRIS CHASE June 9, 2015 12:02 pm ET FOLLOW @CHAZTOPHER

(AP)

Hall of Fame quarterback Joe Montana recently spoke with Trib Total Media about Tom Brady and Deflategate, giving some interesting answers about the scandal that is now, somehow, improbably, in its fifth month.

1. Montana says he would have doctored balls if he thought had ever crossed his mind.

(USA TODAY Sports Images)

“I wish I’d known (it could make a difference) because I couldn’t throw a wet ball to save my life. Heck, I would’ve thought about (deflating the ball), sure.” It is unknown whether Montana added a “gee mister!” before these two sentences.

2. He thinks the deflation rule is “dumb” and “funny.”

(AP)

“It is one of those things that is a rule, right?” he said. “It might be a dumb rule, but it doesn’t matter. He didn’t deflate them himself, but you can pick up the ball and can tell if it is underinflated, overinflated or what you like. Everybody is afraid to say it, but if the guy did it, so what. Just pay up and move on. It’s no big deal.”

3. So, by definition, Montana must think Brady is a big liar.

(Reuters)

Montana is one of the first big-time quarterbacks to say what everyone figured anyway: A top quarterback surely has to know the inflation level of a football simply by touch. When you spend every day for seven months over dozens of years picking up an object, you get to know it pretty, pretty well.

4. Montana doesn’t think this takes away from Brady’s game because his own offensive line cheated, but he thinks Brady should suck it up and pay the fine.

(AP)

“Everybody is trying to do something different. Our offensive linemen used to spray silicone on their shirts until they got caught. Once you get caught, you get caught. Period. It doesn’t take anything away from Tom’s game. But how long has he been doing it? I don’t know.”

5. Allow me to pull a Tom Cruise from A Few Good Men.

If Joe Montana says everybody is trying to do something different and thinks Deflategate is “dumb” and “funny” and refuses to suggest that anything should be taken away from Tom Brady’s game, did he order the Code Red too? (In this sentence, “doctor footballs during his playing career” should be substituted for Code Red.) After all, given the silence and apathy taken by most quarterbacks one can assume Brady is hardly the first to pull such shenanigans.