Hump Day SOS - Fake Chief?

Should we lobby for a new title within our ranks of Fake Chief? You could be Fake at any chief level (Battalion, Division, District, Section, Deputy, Assistant) You may wonder how you would obtain such a rank. Well don’t wait any longer here is a quick guide for your career development plan:

20 steps to Fake Chief

Get hired with a fire department
Get through recruit school the best you can
Get assigned to a fire station and start working very hard to find a 40 hour position in the administration
Volunteer for every committee in your organization and go to all the meetings. (note: do not contribute anything of substance but attend all the meetings)
Work hard on everything except what you were hired to do (firefighter)
Accept an administrative assignment before you even learn all the tools and equipment on your engine
Continue your administrative career path by requesting special assignment and attending classes and schools on department time (don't do your work just keep busy on special assignment)
Make Lieutenant (note: you can skip this step and move straight to chief or request an assignment that keeps you from being a company officer)
Work on developing a distain for those who focus on operations (they are not worthy of thought)
Run for office in a local, state or national fire service organization and attend meetings on your departments time
Make Captain (note: you can skip this step and move straight to chief. Again avoid being a company officer if possible)
Work on building your network and start speaking at events and conferences. Stick to subjects that you have read and studied but have not actually done. (Leadership, Command, Strategic Planning)
Use your contacts to publish a few articles heavy with buzz words. (Web or Print whoever will take your stuff)
Make Chief (any level)
Be sure to have a message that you claim to believe in. Say it over and over again to cover for any shortcomings you might have (speak it into existence so others will believe you) but don’t actually do what you say.
Begin surrounding yourself with others who have followed your model so you have no intellectual threats
Keep the department (or your area) bouncing from one administrative priority to another and keep all the focus away from operations
Anytime you are confronted with a tough operational situation use “safety” as your cover and deny all request
Hold daily, weekly and monthly meetings that lack substantive dialog but do show a busy schedule in the calendar. (Routinely cancel appointments stating your are just too busy to get everyone in)
Make sure to demotivate the go-getters and resident experts in your organizations. Keep them demoralized until they give up. (Focus on t-shirts, helmet waxing and deny request for company patches)

When you follow this or similar versions of the plan you will be able to obtain the rank of Fake Chief.

Caution: Obtaining the rank of Fake Chief is not without risks. You will have a contingent of followers who will tell you exactly what you want to hear in order to promote themselves. These opportunist will come to you for advice to stroke your ego. They will pretend to be loyal cheerleaders for you and your message while you are around. When you are out of site they will laugh at you for your weakness and lack of substance. When you leave you will be forgotten quickly and a new group will move in and change everything you put in place.

Note: This rank can be avoided by learning the job of a firefighter, gaining experience, serving time at each rank, balancing administrative and operational skills and having a will to serve and not a desire to be served.

Tags: #Chief, #FireEngineering, #Firefighting, #HumpDaySOS, #Leadership, #WeKnowWhoYouAre