Paramount Cancels Team America Screenings Because Everyone's a Coward
In the wake of Sony Pictures canceling its release of The Interview, some theaters with actual balls opted to show Team America: World Police as a protest. No such luck. In a truly staggering act of cowardice, Paramount appears to be telling theaters to shut it all down. What the fuck.
This insane cancellation ostensibly comes from the same insane security concerns Sony Pictures folded to when it cancelled The Interview. Namely, the threat of full-on terrorist attacks at theaters by the Guardians of Peace, a organization that so far has shown prowess only in hacking Sony's internal network and bragging about it anonymously on Pastebin.
Terrorist threats are no laughing matter, of course, but the Department of Homeland Security has found no credible threat, and evidence that the Guardians of Peace have any sort of manpower that could do anything within the boundaries of the United States (much less at thousands of locations simultaneously) is practically non-existent. This sort of panicked cowardice would be absurd if it wasn't so damn sad.
We've reached out to the theaters involved to find out if Paramount is citing an additional, specific threat against Team America: World Police screenings, or if the company is simply just assuming that theater-threatening boogeymen wouldn't be huge fans of this film either. We've also reached out to Paramount, because what the hell.
Meanwhile, evidence is mounting that perhaps North Korea itself is behind the Sony hacks and that the U.S. might officially point the finger later today. Although that doesn't lend much more credence to threats of terrorism, considering the North Korea is pretty well known for spouting empty nonsense and launching missiles that can barely make it off the launchpad. There's nothing more embarrassing than bowing to that.
In the meantime, who's up for some Red Dawn?
Update: Capitol Theater has confirmed that Paramount has pulled the film but directed us to Paramount for any further context.
Alamo Draft House has also responded with a confirmation:
We can confirm that the screening of TEAM AMERICA was cancelled as the film was pulled from release. We are issuing refunds to those that purchased tickets.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO...STOP CAVING TO THAT ASIAN BANANA REPUBLIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!222112`1``~~~~
Oh and Kim Jung FUPA...DIAF.
ETA...disdain for King Joffery.
"Banana Republic" is usually a term used for Latin American Military Regimes, North Korea is on Asia, north of South Korea (seems like you need the obvious reference).
If you're going to act as a redneck, please use the proper insults.
Let's see:
1. has a dictator
2. oppresses the masses
3. spends a bazillion dollars on military.
Banana republic is a political science term for a politically unstable country, whose economy is largely dependent on exporting a limited-resource product, e.g. bananas. It typically has stratified social classes, including a large, impoverished working class and a ruling plutocracy of business, political, and military elites.[1] This politico-economic oligarchy controls the primary-sector productions to exploit the country's economy.[2]
Yup, sounds like a banana republic to me regardless of location Captain Pedantic.
North Korea fought America and won without firing a single shot.
Pathetic. Also, can studios really tell a theatre not to show a film like this that isn't currently open at the bo office? I figured legacy titles could be shown by whoever, whenever.
But yeah I assume this is all lawyers causing this shit right?
Boycott all studios. Boycott all big theatre chains. Ship all the apologetic cowards to North Korea. Nuke North Korea.
It'd make a nice parking lot for all the high quality cars coming from the south
See, I'm confused. I may be getting old, but I remember when the terrorists won if we didn't keep buying, keep going to movies, keep living the American life.
And now we're caving to the threat of violence.
Sure, there's a chorus of voices calling out the cowardice, but it strikes me as holding our collective right hand to our forehead, index and thumb extended, and shouting "Looooo-looo-loo-looooser" into the mirror.
America? You're doing it wrong.
Needs more mushroom clouds....
A threat of violence that is completely unreal and unsubstantiated. It's pathetic!
My country suffered the terrorism of a band called ETA for decades, a criminal business ran by a gang of psychopaths and brainwashed killers masquerading as "political freedom fighters." I remember going to Madrid thinking that, at any moment, some bomb would go off to kill some police or military personnel and it would get me too. One bomb once exploded right on the corner I went through every day to see my girlfriend—just a few hours earlier. There were 44 car bombs in Madrid alone. There were a lot more all through Spain, and other killing methods too. They killed 873 men, women, and kids. Countless people were injured and maimed.
We sucked it up, carried on, and we never gave up. We didn't surrender.
That's why it is so hard for me to believe that a country like the United States, which I admired because it has never bulged under the threat of terrorism, has surrendered so easily to the threat of a few, whoever they are. Even if the threat was real, this should have never been the course of action.
And the worst part is that there are American people who are agreeing with all this or shrugging it all, thinking that "well, they warned them" and similar cowardly thoughts. If I were American, I would feel deeply embarrassed now. Heck, I actually feel deeply embarrassed because the United States is my second home. But I'm deeply disturbed by the whole episode just as a human being who believes in Human Rights, freedom of expression being one of them, but also our right to be free and equal, our right to live without fear of our life, liberty and security getting violated. The studios and the theaters and these apologizers pooped on those rights this week. It's disgusting.
I think this cowardice and weakness comes from the comfort and the lack of education and basic values. The sign has been on the wall for a long time, I'm afraid. This only confirms it. Like the Roman Empire, the Spanish Empire, the English Empire—I don't think there's a way back for the US.
And at least those went down in a glorious ball of fire. This is just a pathetic. It makes me so sad.
Gawker: Hire this person.
I have never agreed so strongly with anything else you've said. Sadly, things will only get worse as we bow to the will of anonymous threats.
I agree with you on the lack of outrage on the part of my fellow Americans. Recognize though that this was a decision that Sony made, not a decision that the United States government made (as far as we know). So yes, a Japanese company has shut down a movie over unspecified threats. That is weak. Japan didnt stop the war until we dropped the second bomb, obviously that school of thought (we dont believe that you can eradicate an entire city with one bomb even though you already did it) did not carry over to its electronics companies.
But back to the lack of moral outrage. We are a country full of people who carry assault rifles around the streets to protest a completely fabricated threat they perceive on their right to bear arms. We are a country full of people who cite freedom of speech as an excuse to say horrible and hateful things, and who flip out if they even for a second believe that someone is interfering with that right. But, these people (and lots of others) are silent on Franco and Rogan's speech (via the movie) being completely shut down on account of a few measly threats.
well said. Why live in fear. Fear is a choice , as is happiness. Enjoy life to it's fullest. if you get blown to prices by some asshole at least you were living life. Not just sitting at home afraid of who comes to the door. Or the stranger that walks past your house.
The "cowardice" is largely a business decision. Holiday releases are profitable, and The Interview isn't really the holiday blockbuster; at least, it wasn't prior to this PR spectacle. So theaters are expecting to collect on Annie, Into The Woods, etc., and don't want to risk having consumers not attend because they're afraid of a theater bombing. So that's why theaters do it.
^I didn't make this up; I read it on a legit news site, but I'm in a hurry so I can't source it (which is weak, but you could look it up).
^I didn't make this up; I read it on a legit news site, but I'm in a hurry so I can't source it (which is weak, but you could look it up).
Cowardice and greed. Even worse.
Well said! Damn it Jesus, I usually give you a hard time, but you are SO RIGHT.
WELL SAID!
I think (I know) America is better than this, we just have to realize that we all have to have some backbone.
Oh hey, 'Murica. Didn't see you there hiding behind the bushes. I guess this is what happens when your elected leaders bash you into compliant submission by telling you there are terrorists waiting behind every corner to murder your babies for a decade and a half. I guess you'll believe and do any awful thing just to remain "safe". Even if it means selling out your values.
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
ok, North Korea now has a bit of control over us. That's insane.
How about they show The Great Dictator instead then? Or will Hitler rolling in his grave be enough to stop that as well?
I seriously wonder if the studios and theater owners are really that afraid of physical terrorism- I suspect they are more afraid of cyberattacks taking down their networks or websites, or are paranoid that they'll be hacked like Sony was. In any case, they're definitely cowardly for not standing up to these threatening bastards. There are few things worse than a bluff that isn't called.
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