U.S. Soccer Fails Upward
Thursday, June 26, 2014
TO SEE VIDEO:
http://www.wnyc.org/story/us-soccer-fails-upward/
WNYC
Cabbies pulled over to watch USA vs Germany on a big screen by East River.
(Jim O'Grady/WNYC)
Little good has happened to the U.S. Men's National Soccer Team
in their last 94 minutes and 30 seconds of World Cup play. They let in a
last-second goal that allowed Portugal to tie a game that the U.S.
seemed destined to win, then lost 1-0 to Germany in the rain of Recife
on the east coast of Brazil. (Not that the Americans didn't have chances
to score: watch the video to see a group of fans in New York emit the
strangulated cries that are the universal language of soccer's
near-miss.) But then, the only thing that mattered happened to the U.S.
Men's soccer team, too. Despite Thursday's defeat, they advanced to that
uber-opera of quadrennial team sports: the World Cup's 16-team knockout
round.
The next game for the USA is Tuesday against Belgium. If you're planning on watching in a bar and want to speak knowledgeably to strangers about America's opponent, view this sober and informative video about the Belgian national team. Or skip it and just quote de Gaulle: "Belgium: a country invented by the British to annoy the French." Then make that face you make when you drink their syrupy Belgian beer.
And don't forget: just before the game's 5 p.m. kickoff, you'll need to stand up at your cubicle in your place of work and, with rising hysteria, recite this exhortation from an excellent sports blog on SBNation.
"Let's do ... what everyone else learned long, long ago: shut down the country for two hours to watch a soccer game, and you will miss nothing important in life whatsoever. Money is a lie, your job is probably not that important, and if you do get fired for being too American, well, that's clearly against a law that even if fictional should exist anyway."
Huzzah!
The next game for the USA is Tuesday against Belgium. If you're planning on watching in a bar and want to speak knowledgeably to strangers about America's opponent, view this sober and informative video about the Belgian national team. Or skip it and just quote de Gaulle: "Belgium: a country invented by the British to annoy the French." Then make that face you make when you drink their syrupy Belgian beer.
And don't forget: just before the game's 5 p.m. kickoff, you'll need to stand up at your cubicle in your place of work and, with rising hysteria, recite this exhortation from an excellent sports blog on SBNation.
"Let's do ... what everyone else learned long, long ago: shut down the country for two hours to watch a soccer game, and you will miss nothing important in life whatsoever. Money is a lie, your job is probably not that important, and if you do get fired for being too American, well, that's clearly against a law that even if fictional should exist anyway."
Huzzah!
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