“Like David Lynch Directed a Remake of Office Space”
A site that perfectly captures the existential despair of the conference call.
Is there a form of modern
communication more frustrating and alienating than the conference call?
The inevitable technical glitches, the mysterious background sounds and
missed connections, the uncertainty of just who’s on the other end, the
jokes that seem hilarious on one end but are met with dead silence on
the other—it all combines to create a very particular and identifiable
type of white-collar existential dread.
This sensation is captured perfectly by the innocuous-sounding site ConferenceCall.biz, created by Washington, D.C.-based GIF artist Zach Scott.
Click through and you’ll be taken into a simulated conference call in
which the participants seem perpetually talking at cross purposes,
coming into the conversation late, and expressing frustration that
they’re discussing material they’ve already covered. (A dog barking in
the background has a memorable cameo.)
The dialogue is randomized so that you never listen to exactly the
same meeting twice; this effect also adds to the feeling of
disconnection between the participants but somehow still feels entirely
believable. Sometimes—particularly if you’re listening at work—it can
feel eerily realistic. As Scott tells me via email, “It always makes me
laugh when the first randomly selected audio clip that plays is ‘Did
someone just join the call?’ because it makes the website visitor feel
like they're being addressed directly.”
According to Scott, there are about 75 lines of dialogue and 15
participants in the call. “The voices on ConferenceCall.biz are all
vaguely addressing the same handful of topics, but they'll never get
around to making any substantial progress,” Scott says. “I created the
script with randomization in mind. Occasionally a few clips will play
back-to-back and respond directly to each other, while at other times
the audio clips bounce from one person addressing a technical problem to
another.”
All of it’s accompanied by an eerie electronic soundtrack and washed-out office imagery that another blog has described as “what would happen if David Lynch directed a re-make of Office Space.” One friend of mine has also compared the aesthetic to “Fitter Happier”-era Radiohead.
What makes conference calling such perfect material for this type of
project? “I think conference calls provoke such a negative reaction
because they allow people and technology to frustrate us
simultaneously,” says Scott. “The human failure is easy to
recognize—people talking over each other, calling in 10 minutes late and
interrupting, forgetting to unmute before speaking. On the technology
side, conference calls are in an Uncanny Valley–like stage where they
manage to serve the basic purpose of allowing numerous people to speak
with each other, but are still far away from providing a smooth
experience that feels as practical as being in the same room with other
people.”
Reactions to the site have varied from amusement to near despair. (The Russian edition of Esquire is currently linking to ConferenceCall.biz from its homepage with the caption “useless site.”)
“Before I launched the website, I expected that those who were more
familiar with conference calls would respond to the more humorous
elements in it, while those who were unfamiliar might react more to the
melancholy elements,” Scott says. “While I intended for
ConferenceCall.biz to be surreal, somewhat melancholy, but also funny, a
lot of the reactions I've seen have viewed it as a documentation of a
certain kind of hell. Some people seem to view it only as a true attempt
at a simulation of conference calls, while others approach it more as
an artistic expression. I also know of some people who use it as an
ambient relaxation tool to play in the background.”
I have a hard time imagining blissfully grooving to
ConferenceCall.biz—but it does make you wonder how many office workers
are using real conference calls this way.
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