It also does not mention all the beggars and their sing-song sob stories, the bible thumpers delivering religious rants, and the "singers" and"musicians" ( you will hear more of them at the station, of course...one in ten will be OK, the others will make you think the Death Penalty is not really such a bad idea at all for disturbing the peace...well, there is no peace in the subway, true)
Finally, the people who will fixedly stare at you on a less crowded train ( trick a friend at NYU taught me a millenium ago, -- just start casually picking your nose!)
1. Clip your fingernails.
How to not suck: Ride subway; arrive home and clip fingernails.
2. Lean on the pole instead of holding it.
How to not suck: Hold subway pole with hand; ride subway.
3. Shove your way onto the train without letting people off first.
How to not suck: Let departing passengers exit first; ride subway.
4. Eat stinky food on a crowded rush hour train.
How to not suck: 1. Eat food 2. Ride subway. Or, 1. Ride subway 2. Eat food.
5. Fall asleep on your neighbor.
How to not suck: Ride subway without falling asleep on your neighbor.
7. When seated, attempt to get up before your stop, forcing everyone near you to let go of their poles.
How to not suck: Ride subway; get up after the train has stopped.
9. Talk loudly on your phone when the train is above ground.
How to not suck: Ride subway; do not talk on phone loudly or at all.
10. Put your dripping wet umbrella on an empty seat.
How to not suck: Put wet umbrella on floor; ride subway.
11. Decline to let visibly pregnant women sit.
How to not suck: Ride subway; give up seat for elderly or visibly pregnant person.
12. Squeeze into a packed car that clearly cannot hold any more passengers.
How to not suck: Choose different car or wait for next train; ride subway.
13. Sit like this.
How to not suck: Ride subway; take up only enough space for one person.
15. Wear a backpack on a crowded car.
How to not suck: Take off backpack and place between feet or near you on the floor; ride subway.
16. Play a loud game without headphones, so everyone can listen to the noises.
How to not suck: Ride subway; plug in headphones so only you can listen to it.
17. Rock out with your belly out.
How to not suck: Stow body parts away safely; ride subway.
18. Let your hair touch other passengers, which is actually the worst.
How to not suck: Be aware of your hair; ride subway.
19. Stand in front of the doors and refuse to move when the door opens.
How to not suck: Ride subway; move out of the way when the doors open.
20. Put your feet up on a seat.
How to not suck: Ride subway; place feet on ground.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please leave a comment-- or suggestions, particularly of topics and places you'd like to see covered