Ex-Chicagoans share their post-leaving stages of grief
Hell, this one makes practically no sense without the photos for the 8 stages and to see those you have to go to
http://www.thrillist.com/entertainment/chicago/things-we-miss-most-about-leaving-chicago-thrillist-chicago
I can see from the postings here ( and I mean, you have to go back through the link to see the way the original article is laid out, with photos, for it to make sense at all)-- that a helluva lot has changed since I left Chicago an incredibly long number of years ago. When I lived there, there were just a few parts of the City where younger people with ambitions would go to, the rest being either ethnic enclaves or industrial zones it seemed...
Published on
2/28/2014
10054
"I convinced myself that ripping the city off like a band-aid was
better than making it a long, drawn-out divorce and custody battle." -
Adam, New Orleans
"I had gotten to the point where I was having my groceries delivered
by Peapod and ordering Leona's up to twice a day, rather than braving
the weather outside. I knew then, it was time to get out." – Nikki, Los Angeles
"I left one week after the first Polar Vortex blast of negative
gazillion [degrees]. As I said goodbye to my life and friends, any
semblance of tears froze to my face in less than 10 nanoseconds
retrograde. I needed little convincing to board the plane." - Megan, Los Angeles
"At least Ventra will not wrongfully take money out of my account ever again. I'm pretty sure." - Jesse, New York City
"I spent my last night in Chicago at a New Year's dance party in
Logan Square where a bunch of neckbeards were dancing to oldies. That
memory has been overwritten because now I live in Brooklyn and every day
is a dance party with neckbeards." -Ryan, New York City
"I put ketchup on my hotdogs right there in the streets, for all to see!" - Hayley, San Francisco
"I removed myself from Sarpino's e-mailing list and blocked the
thousands of weekly improv show invites on Facebook." - Jesse, New York City
"I simply disappeared, like a Capone problem." - Mike, Los Angeles
"The pizza and hot dogs in SoCal are atrocious, and there is
basically no public transportation -- I bought a car and had an accident
within the first five months. I had to sign up with DirecTV to watch
the Bears without being surrounded at a bar by Charger, Niners, and
Green Bay fans (they spread like a virus)." - Kent, Aliso Viejo, California
"Luckily, resentment is also a form of currency in NYC." - Greg, New York City
"Everyone in LA self-tans their pubes. Everyone in Chicago lets
their pubes grow all Winter for crotch-al warmth (like a Penguin nesting
its egg)." – Mike, Los Angeles
"I have been angry three solid times, and all of them involved a bus
being at least 20 minutes late. Also, women feel the need to don
full-makeup and heels to go shopping for toilet paper at Target." Nikki,
Los Angeles
"If only I had a gotten a job on the set of Transformers or Man of Steel. I could’ve gone to some fancy industry party in the Hancock Tower where Bill Murray randomly shows up." - Bret, Washington D.C.
"If only the Cubs had gotten a cute, cuddly mascot a few years ago,
it might have melted my heart just enough to stay in Chicago." - Jesse, New York City
"If only I had gotten that job at Tony's Burritos slingin' tacos and quesadillas to drunks (like myself)." - Kent, Aliso Viejo, California
"If only I’d found Logan Hardware sooner." - Mike, Los Angeles
"I miss opening up the RedEye on the train and flipping
straight to the map that marked the violent crime incidents over the
weekend. I'd make circles to see how often my apartment or favorite
haunts fell in that deadly venn diagram." - Adam, New Orleans
"There's something about being in Downtown Chicago that just always
feels like a very richly made '30s gangster movie. Most of LA is like
your Mom's old bedroom at your Grandma's house." - Megan, Los Angeles
"Life isn’t the same without the constant reminders of being in the
Midwest. The snow here isn’t lake-effect. Drunk bros don't yell 'Rock
Chalk!' at me when I wear my KU hat. Above all, I miss that Chicagoans
are relaxed about eating well and getting fat." - Greg, New York City
"There's so much I miss, but the late-night food delivery is at the
top of my list. I'm forced to think ahead for the fourth meal, and mama
don't plan that way. I'm so hungry." - Nikki, Los Angeles
"Knowing that I'll never again have to push through Wrigleyville during TBOX does help me sleep at night." - Hayley, San Francisco
"Every time I have a slice of pizza that isn't as thick as a
cinderblock and contains less butter and cheese than the entire state of
Wisconsin, I accept my choices. I am OK with not having Type-2 diabetes
before I am 35." - Ryan, New York City
"I got an upper-back tattoo of The Bean to scale." - Mike, Los Angeles
"I cope by stalking my Chicago friends via social media, sending
them text messages too late at night because of the time difference, and
annoying my boyfriend by trying out local hot-spots, then saying, 'This
reminds me of Guthrie's, but without all the Midwest charm.'" - Nikki, Los Angeles
"Sometimes if I walk by the right distorted reflective surface, I
get a 'Bean' flashback and my hand instinctively reaches for my phone to
take a Facebook profile pic." - Bret, Washington D.C.
"From time to time, I'll be sitting in a bar and two dudes will
start getting into a heated argument. I'll close my eyes, pour a little
beer on my shirt, and pretend it's the Red Line during the cross-town
classic." - Adam, New Orleans
"Every once in a while, when I am ordering a hot dog from a street
vendor, I wait for them to scream vulgarities and make me feel like I'm
nothing. But it never comes. I guess not every place can be the Wiener
Circle." - Jesse, New York City
"Somewhere, there's a party trolley with a crack in the back window,
caused by me mooning strangers on a Friday night. I feel like I've left
a real legacy out there." - Ryan, New York City
Thanks to Adam Stephenson, Bret Dorman, Greg Iwinski, Mike Glazer, Ryan Craggs, Kent Bamberger, Nikki Pierce, Hayley Nystrom, Megan Mercier,and Jesse Leahy for their words of wisdom.
Sean Cooley is Thrillist's Chicago Editor, and he knows to never get involved in a land war in Asia. Follow him @SeanCooley.
Thanks to Adam Stephenson, Bret Dorman, Greg Iwinski, Mike Glazer, Ryan Craggs, Kent Bamberger, Nikki Pierce, Hayley Nystrom, Megan Mercier,and Jesse Leahy for their words of wisdom.
Sean Cooley is Thrillist's Chicago Editor, and he knows to never get involved in a land war in Asia. Follow him @SeanCooley.
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